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I’m not the baseball stud like you :), but I did play in college and love the game! I’m glad you have the courage to share your story. I think you, as well as others, might be enthralled with mine as well. So similar.
https://goodthingstocome.blog/

First post is below:

https://goodthingstocome.blog/2017/10/09/below-rock-bottom/

Btw, I was taking from 400-600mg per day. When I read you took 40mg when you were mad I laughed. I wouldn’t even feel 40 mg. Side note: I live close to Freddy Sanchez in AZ. Our kids played football and baseball together.